A suggestion that really works
Dale Carnegie wrote a book called 'How to stop worrying and start living' - if you
can get hold of a copy, I really recommend it. I would have a copy of it on my
bookshelves right now - but I lent it to someone who must have found it so useful
- I didn't get it back; oh well - it happens.
One of the principles outlined in the book is to 'live in day-tight compartments'.
In other words - there's no point in worrying about yesterday - what's done is done
and there's no going back to change it. Also there's little point in worrying about
tomorrow either - by all means PLAN for tomorrow, but to worry about it won't bring
it any closer - or delay it. So the only thing you have any excuse for worrying about
is today - and you can do something about 'today' because it is here - and you can
work to make it better can't you.
Here's an extension of that idea - live in 'hour tight compartments' - and when
you have mastered that - try living in 'minute tight compartments too. Ok -
imagine this - you are in a room with a balloon that is not too tightly inflated
so it's not going to pop instantly - in fact I will guarantee to you that it will
not pop for at least - say - five minutes. Ok - calm down - it's not going to pop.
So why are you worrying - there's nothing going to happen for five minutes - so you
can spend at least four minutes NOT worrying about it can't you.
In fact, modern balloons are usually so well made that it is unlikely to pop for
weeks ! AND if it does pop - the noise will only be there for a second or so - and
once it HAS popped - it's not going to pop again is it. So it might make you jump
- that's normal - but after it pops then there's nothing more to worry about anyway
because it's not going to pop again now that it's in shreds - so you can be
completely relaxed about it.
So this idea is to think differently about the situation - but you can try it out
for yourself. Blow up a balloon and leave it somewhere where you can see it - and
somewhere safe from anything - or anyone who might pop it... and just leave it
there - get used to it being there. It will probably deflate over time - and when
it does just blow up another one to put in its place. If you can't bring yourself
to blow up the balloon - then get a friend or family member to do it for you - but
a word of caution here - anyone who is helping you with this - or any aspect of
helping you to overcome this phobia MUST BE truly supportive - it's no good having
someone around who thinks it's a bit of a joke, or someone who is treating you
as if you are weird - that will not be helpful at all.
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